just come out here and I will go home with you...
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
Randomize
