In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
Randomize
