It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
Randomize
