Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
