I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
