Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
Randomize
