I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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