it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Randomize
