making cat noises will not fix the situation.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Randomize
