You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Randomize
