Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
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