this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
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