Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
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