She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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