well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
