I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
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