Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
Randomize
