ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
