Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
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