she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
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