I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
I am full of burrito and curiosity
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
Randomize
