You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
Randomize
