I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
Randomize
