u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
Bang-toberfest begins!!
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize
