Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
