I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
