My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
Randomize
