I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
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