fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
Randomize
