Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
Randomize
