I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
