When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
We left an ass print on the piano.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
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