you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
Randomize
