I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
How does one acquire holy water?
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
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