I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
I love how my cats smell like pot.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
And then my night got REAL pukey
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
Randomize
