DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
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