The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
Randomize
