I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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