I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
Randomize
