If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
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