she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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