I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
Randomize
