You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
Randomize