Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
I think my moral compass just broke
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
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