it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
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