I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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