is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
you have to choose: penises or morals?
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
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