Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
Randomize
