in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
I am naked and annoyed.
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Randomize
