"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
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