Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
Randomize
