the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
the liver wants what the liver wants
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
Randomize
