Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
