that's what penises do
they tell lies.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
Randomize
