Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
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