I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
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