That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Randomize
